The Wheel of Time series stinks up Amazon.

It's been a while but it's time for a rant:

What the HELL is wrong with the movie and TV industry? I'm positive the answer to that is quite lengthy, however my current rant is about book adaptations. I know the series hasn't been around as long as the Lord of the Rings, but the Wheel of Time series by Robert Jordan has as devout a fandom.They took one of my favorite series and gave it the 'Sword of Truth' treatment. I didn't even make it through one episode of that disaster. I am currently in my 17th reading of the series. I read the whole series every time a new book came out. I love the world that Robert Jordan built.

I was so excited when I heard they were making this into a series. Now, after 4 episodes, I have to say I am very disappointed. The last two times an epic book series was put on the small screen, The Dresden Files (Jim Butcher) and The Sword of Truth (Terry Goodkind), were both horrible.

My first complaint: Casting. Moiraine Sedai is supposed to be short; barely 5 feet tall. I think Rosamund Pike is doing a great job, but she is far too tall for the role. Liandrin Sedai is supposed have a "doll-like" face. The only doll I've ever seen that looked like her was a Bratz doll. Perrin Aybara is supposed to be powerfully built. He is, after all, a blacksmith. This actor doesn't look like he's ever even picked up a hammer. And what have they done to Loial? Why could they not do a CGI version? The actor just looks ridiculous.

My second complaint: Plot lines. Perrin Aybara was NOT married! The three boys are supposed to be 20 year old (the whole point of Moiraine's 20 year search) Moiraine and Suian are NOT lovers! They were best friends bound together by a secret that only they knew of and acted upon. I hold screenwriters responsible for the unforgivable sin of butchering the plot. I understand that there is a need to condense things for TV. Also, the current political climate requires some changes so nobody gets too butthurt, but come on!

In summation: Casting directors should be required to either read the source material or talk to someone who has. I understand that a "screen adaptation" is rarely going to be as good as the source material but (please, please, please) screenwriters should do a better job of choosing the scenes they use and not introduce irrelevant plotlines that screw up things that are supposed to happen in the future. They are provided with a great story. Jeez, in comic books, they are essentially given a storyboard to work from. Why change it? If it wasn't awesome, they wouldn't be trying to make a movie or show out of it! Get with the program screenwriters! The worst culprits of all are the producers because they give their stamp of approval to the casting and script changes. Rant ends.

Finally...some raves

Finally a Rave!! Kim and I have discovered two wonderful programs on Netflix this past week. They are entirely different from one another and would probably appeal to absolutely disparate ranks of followers, but somehow they both managed to appeal to us.

The first show is 'Flesh for the Beast: Tsukiko's Curse.'

FFTB is an unusual show in that it melds X-files, Supernatural and Warehouse 13 with early 90s Skinemax production values. The show is at once intriguing, almost captivating, and so low budget it makes MST3K look like a Pixar project. I'm serious. This train wreck of a show is absolutely worth watching if you're even the least bit interested in occult shows. The acting is often bad, the cinematography is lacking, the special effects are cheesy but somehow we couldn't stop watching. To put this in context, we had both just watched Twin Peaks for the first time and thoroughly enjoyed it. I really can't explain this shows appeal.

There is only one season. But like the best of shows, it completes the story by the end of its run. And the wrap-up is awesome. After dealing with decades of great shows killed before their time [or their story] had been finished, it was nice to see a complete package like this.

Seriously, give it a couple episodes. You might find it enjoyable.

The second show is 'The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt.'

“They alive dammit!” This show has made me laugh harder and more frequently than an Eddie Izzard stand-up show. It is hilarious! Kimmy Schmidt left the 1990s and emerged in the 20teens - dealing with her 'time travel,' her kidnapping and her adaptation to the smartphone age is very funny. Ellie Kemper, the title character, has this engaging, puppy-like charm that makes almost every word out of her mouth a gigglefest. Sometime either late in season 1 or early season 2 [one of the problems with binge-watching] they straightened her hair and somehow the show started being less funny. Her supporting cast is awesome. Carol Kane often steals the show as her slightly crazy landlady, Lillian. Her bald, black, gay roommate Titus Andromedon, played by Titus Burgess, who breaks into show tunes from way the f*** off-broadway shows like 'Alabama!' [the black version of Oklahoma!] and the wicked title song from 'Daddy's Boy.' [Just watch the show lmao] Her boss/friend Jane Krakowski and her Psychiatrist Tina Fey round out the cast with enough power to fill every tank at Monsters Inc. with adult laughter. Run Lillian!

ok...I've raved myself out. FFTB is awful and wonderful. Kimmy Schmidt is just plain funny for the most part.

I hope you enjoy.  

Transgender Bathroom Law?

I was struggling to find something to rant about this morning because I was actually feeling all right with the world when I woke up today. Less than 10 seconds on Facebook and I had my topic. This whole transgender bathroom nonsense. So far as I can tell, we have Bruce Springsteen, Ringo Starr, Bryan Adams, Pearl Jam and two Disney drones canceling concerts in North Carolina and Mississippi; Paypal abandoning a proposed Charlotte office; a new Hulu show relocating its filming location away from Charlotte NC. That's a pretty hefty response in terms of media coverage. In addition, there is a boycott of Target by people who think they are encouraging sexual predators by being open to transgender folks using their bathrooms.

Now, I may be wrong here, but I don't really think sexual predators actually care about laws. They are after all deviants in the true sense of the word. Keep in mind here that I am not talking about transgender, transvestite, gay or lesbian folks as deviant. I am talking about sexual predators and they come in every stripe (pardon the pun). I have read about more Catholic Priests abusing little boys and Evangelicals are the main source of cults these days, yet I don't see any movement to keep them out of bathrooms. I am a firm believer that most people want to simply be about their life with a minimum of interference. I also believe that statement applies to everyone whether his or her nether regions are what they were born with or had installed.

The main thing I want from most people is their silence, or even better, their absence. I want peace and quiet to read my books, listen to my music, and try to write my endless succession of first chapters.

Whatever your personal preference in plumbing, it is exactly that: your personal preference. I have had it with the government getting involved with personal choices. I could understand if it was actually a question of public safety, but when was the last time you heard of a young Christian boy being beaten to death by a gang of trannies? The opposite happens more frequently.

This really all boils down to white male Christians who think their tiny penises are in huge demand and are afraid of getting groped in the toilet (which they secretly want to happen anyway). Face it John Q. Public, nobody really wants to handle your junk. Get over it and move on to something that actually matters.

Nuff Said.

WTF 2016?

OK, I know death is part of life. I respect the fact that everyone will eventually die. In some cases I hope it happens quicker than others even. But the rush of celebrities to the grave in 2016 is simply appalling.
It is now the end of April and I am still reeling from the deaths of Lemmy and David Bowie. More so for Bowie because he was so important to both my wife and I. Lemmy was a far out old speed freak who lived life on his own terms. With the exception of his chemical problems, he is definitely a role model.But his appeal was limited to true believers in Rock Gods.

Bowie on the other hand was not so much an entertainer as he was a force of nature. Even his poppiest of songs gives you something to think about. He was the Man Who Fell to Earth, Ziggy Stardust, the Thin White Duke, and basically the face of British music since the early 70s.
What makes his passing easier is how well he prepared for it. He spent his 18 moths on earth preparing a farewell package for his fans. Blackstar is an amazing album and fits nicely into Bowie's conceptual continuity [to steal a concept from Zappa]. One thing I don't get is why he was never knighted. I realize he was never as big a queen as Sir Reginald, but he was a chameleon who always stayed one step ahead of the trends instead of locking himself in to one persona. Anyway, here's the list of those that I'm aware of:

Lemmy
     [2015, but I was still reeling from that when word of Bowie's passing came my way]
David Bowie
    See above
Dale Griffin [Mott the Hoople]
     Bowie wrote this 'All the Young Dudes' for this band
Glenn Frey [The Eagles]
     Yeah, yeah...not a big fan but I can still show respect for his achievements
Signe Anderson [Jefferson Airplane]
     She was female lead before they replaced her with Grace Slick. Not sure if I ever actually heard           her sing
Paul Kantner [Jefferson Airplane]
   Just found about Paul while I was checking my list. He was always my favorite member of the            band. He just looked so cool.
Maurice White [Earth, Wind & Fire]
    Always loved EWF.
Dan Hicks [Dan Hicks and The Hot Licks]
    Don't know much about him, always liked the band name.
Denise Matthews [Vanity]
    Never had much use for Vanity, Wonder how Nikki Sixx took it.
Sonny James ["Young Love"]
     One of the country artists I listened to when I was a little kid
Lennie Baker [Sha-Na-Na]
     The lead vocalist on 'Blue Moon.'
Sir George Martin
      The fifth Beatle... big frowny face
Keith Emerson [Emerson, Lake & Palmer]
    This was a heartbreaker, I never got to see ELP.
Gogi Grant ["The Wayward Wind"]
     Another song from my youth.
Frank Sinatra, Junior
     Not really familiar with Jr.
Andy 'Thunderclap' Newman
     'Something in the air' is as relevant today as it was back then.
Merle Haggard ['Okie from Muskogee"]
    I was never much of a Merle fan. My dad knew him from Bakersfield and had nothing good to say      about him.
Dennis Davis [David Bowie's drummer]
    Just sad.
Prince
    well that just sucks! He was just starting to become relevant again.

I am so tired of everyone dying. Bowie and Lemmy were prepared - both released albums near their time. Lemmy toured right up til he couldn't anymore. Bowie has 'Lazarus,' a stage production of what is apparently a sequel of 'The Man Who Fell To Earth.' Bowie's death actually made me hope their is some form of afterlife. It would be such a waste if his creative energy is just lost. I know, I know 'energy can neither be created nor destroyed only transformed.' That is not helpful when I want more Bowie songs.
Maybe it is selfish of me -- but I want more. I never got to see Motorhead or ELP and now I never will. For years I have been trying to talk musician friends into picking up where Keith Emerson left off and rock up some classical arrangements. Now maybe I can get them interested as sort of a tribute project.
oh well...enough whining for today.

Fear and Loathing in 2016

I am currently reading the collected letters of Hunter S. Thompson. Whenever I read HST I am tempted to write something about my political views. I normally ignore this feeling, hoping I will drift back into

my normal state of alternating apathy and seething rage. But Hunter himself prompted to start writing this with a single sentence in one of his letters: 'My general feeling is a loss of hope in the largest sense, a pessimistic rage, and a disorganized compulsion to enter the fray at once.'

I despise politics and politicians. I have yet to take notice of one who isn't more interested in keeping the perks of his office than doing what his constituents need him to do. The current state of American politics is shamefully ridiculous.

On the Republican side:

Donald Trump is a salesman – slick, polished [with the exception of his unruly Pomeranian head] and trying to prove P.T. Barnum's old aphorism that 'there is a sucker born every minute' by becoming President of these United States. Anyone who votes for him has partaken of far too much Republican kool-aid. From what I have seen, he approaches the Presidency as another stage of his reality show.

Ted Cruz made himself unelectable with one simple statement: “I was anointed by God to become President.” One night back in the 90s I was driving back to Birmingham from a refreshing visit to Clinton, Iowa. As I wound through the dark hills south of Nashville on I-65 I was listening to a tape I had made of my favorite Rush songs. By the end of the trip I was convinced that Neal, Alex and Geddy were telling me I needed to get it together and run for President. By Cruz's rationale, I have a better claim to the Presidency than he does because at least Rush is real (although they are Canadian so I'm not sure if their recommendation should matter to an American candidate).

On the Democratic side:

Hilary Clinton. What can be said about Hilary? Nothing good, that's for sure. Every time I hear her name I think of Vince Foster. A man who probably knew far too many of the Clinton's secrets and somehow managed to double tap himself in the back of the head and fling the gun across the room in what what is undoubtedly the single most magical gun-related death since President Kennedy. Leaving aside poor Vince Foster for the moment, this woman is a horrible liar. I don't mean “oh it's horrible that she lies so much.” I mean she is really bad at it. Has anyone ever believed a word she said? Anyone looking at her face can see traces of megalomania and the lust for power and position in her eyes. I have no problem with a female President. Hell, I would probably vote for Elizabeth Warren if she ran. She at least appears honest.

Bernie Sanders. Now here is an enigma. A man who has served in the belly of the beast for a long time. He's making admirable strides in getting the common man involved. Intellectuals who aren't already brainwashed into the Clinton mindset can't help but hold out hope for this dark horse. The fact that the Democratic power brokers are stealing every state from him in the run up to the primary while he continually rakes in a popular majority is enough to make me want to vote for him. His ideas aren't that far-fetched. If you're wondering where the money for his plans will come from...how about we slice a bit off from our bloated DOD cow. And all this ranting about Democratic Socialism is ridiculous. Bernie is no Hitler [That is Trump's role]. I for one am 100% behind full employment, socialized medicine, term limits for Senators and Congressman, wage cuts for politicians, $15 an hour minimum wage across the board [including military], pricing regulations on medications, and many other things I'm sure.

So there, Hunter. I just hope this was disorganized enough to make you proud of my compulsion.

Hannibal: Season 3

Kim and I just watched Hannibal: Season 3.

<<>>

I found Seasons 1 and 2 to be intelligent, intricate and interesting. Season 3 started off like a 60s French Film student’s semester project. From the images of snails after every commercial break to the kaleidoscopic lesbian sex scene between American Mary [Katharine Isabelle] and Canadian Caroline [Dhavernas] it reeked of French art films. It was all style, very little substance. The plot was submerged beneath waves of surrealist/erotic imagery and unfortunately further diluted by dialogue out of a 17 year old Morrissey fan’s notebook. The characters tossed barely related pop-philosophical and pop-psychological aphorisms back and forth amid swirling digital psychedelic backdrops. 

By the fourth episode, we were ready to abandon the whole thing. Then Kim suggested that maybe those episodes were being experienced from the POV of Gillian Anderson’s character. That made sense.

Bedelia [Gillian Anderson] has joined Hannibal in his exile. Where her character has seemed numb for the first two seasons, she is so completely disaffected in season 3 that when her ‘habit’ is finally revealed, it comes as no great surprise and actually makes the first four episodes make a sort of convoluted sense.

There are two other things that confuse and annoy me about season 3. Chiyon makes no sense. I know there was a brief explanation of her association with the Lecter family, but her apparent age makes the explanation unwieldy. And who created the Dragonfly-man? Was it Will or Chiyon? It doesn’t make sense for Chiyon to do it. And if it was Will, then, honestly, WTF?

The second half of the season was back to the wonderful style of writing that graced the first two seasons. The retelling of ‘Red Dragon’ was very well done. And for the first time this season there is actually a sympathetic character. Of course, since the show is about a serial killer, the sympathetic character is one. I actually felt bad for Francis Dolarhyde. He was fighting his own mind and just trying to be a guy in love. I only had two issues with him: 1) He ate a William Blake original [the bastard!], and 2) He always killed the family dog first [for this he will never have my complete sympathy, anyone who murders a dog deserves to be devoured by their own brain!].

I enjoyed watching Season 3. Definitely not as much as I enjoyed Seasons 1 & 2, but I don’t regret it. You just have to hang on through the first 4 or 5 episodes which are very lush and sensual, but unlike seasons 1 & 2, to get to the good stuff as ‘Red Dragon’ plays out. If the decision to cancel this show was made during the first four episodes I can understand it, but since it ends right before ‘Silence of the Lambs,’ I think it was a perfect place to stop.

A socially relevant post (possibly)

It has been a long time since I posted anything here but today I feel inspired. I have spent the morning reading about school shootings and domestic terrorism. I am about to mix the personal and the political.

I was a loner and an outsider for most of my school days due to the fact that my parents moved a lot and I was always the new kid (not to mention my innate pudginess). I listened to Heavy Metal and Punk. I was fascinated with fantasy and military themed books. I had access to guns and used them regularly. I always carried a pocketknife with me. I dressed in black t-shirts and blue jeans. I read Nietzsche. My favorite movie was Apocalypse Now. I went on exactly two dates during high school. I made pipe bombs and blew up debris on the farm with them. I read The Anarchist's Cookbook cover to cover a couple times. I wrote a 16 page story for my creative writing class about a school shooting.

The list I just wrote would mark me as 'trenchcoat mafia' in the modern media. All of those facts could be pointed to as causes for my flipping out and killing people. But I never did. Why?

Because I am not batshit crazy and I had parents that cared.

The problem isn't violent video games or movies. It isn't bullying. It isn't any source external to the home. A big part of it has to be horrible parenting.

My dad taught me how to handle weapons safely. He showed me how to make the pipe bombs I used on the farm. He was an Army sergeant and ran the house like one. There were rules and you followed them or faced the belt. He was never physically abusive. He didn't enjoy punishing me when I screwed up, but he didn't flinch from it or make excuses either. I knew the rules and I followed them. He instilled a sense of right and wrong in me by being part of my life.

My mother was a guiding influence as well. She was the yin to my father's yang. She provided the balance to his gruff military style. And yes, she spanked me too. But she was also there for me when I need her. As a parent should be.

I was not driven to excel by my parents. They expected me to do well and, honestly, I did just enough to keep them happy. I also enjoyed learning as much as I could for my own benefit. So it benefited me and them. I got A's and B's and I studied what I wanted in addition to what was assigned. A love of books was instilled in me at an early age and I have never stopped reading. This also helped me define right and wrong.

So many kids today are born to be social accessories or to provide validation for the parent's existence. Kids are pressured to do things in which they have no interest just so the parent can say "look what my kid did." The parents live their school days over vicariously through their offspring. 

This is no reason to have a child. 

Children should be loved and nurtured to be the best person they can be. But they have to find their own way. A parent is there to instill basic values and guide and support them as they make their way in the world. This is not a teacher's job. IT IS THE PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY!

I will not discount the influence of the media and the culture of pimps and whores, gangsters and vigilantes, and corrupt religious and secular officials that the media promotes. Nor will I discount the fact that our schools have declined in both educational values and critical thinking skills. But it all begins at home with the people that spawned them in the first place.

End of soapbox rant. Discuss :)