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Comedy strikes back

So what are you to do when nothing new comes out? Or worse, when everything new that comes out...well...sucks?

Fall back on old reliable is what!

I have found myself listening to The Beatles, The Cult, They Might Be Giants and Iron Maiden quite a bit recently. Not that I don't always listen to the Beatles and Iron Maiden anyway, but my point here is actually to ask what is going on with music?

I got the new Wolfmother album a while ago and after a couple times through, I was done with it. There was only one memorable song on the album, and to be honest it was only memorable because it reminded me of Peter Frampton. To paraphrase Christian Slater in 'Pump up the Volume': What happened to all the grand themes? Have they all been used up and turned into theme parks?

The Disney farm keeps churning out these overprocessed, talentless fembots for the entertainment of the bovine masses. The bar has been set so low in metal right now that I could probably start a band. Indie/alternative is annoying and angst-y. (But isn't it always?)

Sadly, novelty/comedy records are the best thing coming out right now. The most exciting new music I've heard recently are from two comedy duos: Flight of The Conchords and The Mighty Boosh.

The Conchords are lighthearted and entertaining for the most part. Lately they seem to be sinking to the Lowest Common Denominator with an excess of dick jokes and crude humor. Even with those though, the show and the music are very enjoyable. What's more important is that on their new album "I Told You I Was Freaky" they included my favorite song from their first season - 'Pencils in the Wind.' I remember in the show, this song was done in a huge Meatloaf-ian production. It was AWESOME!

The Mighty Boosh, while similar in concept is so surreal that it staggers the imagination. The music is glorious. If you can find a copy, I highly reccommend buying at watching it over and over and over again. I can't wait for an album from them. My favorite episodes include: Tundra, Eels, The Legend of Old Gregg, and The Hitcher.

Check them out. You won't be disappointed.

rant #1

It was pointed out to me that I had not really ranted about anything yet. So I thought I would do my first rant for this page about my favorite thing to rant about... how much people suck!!

Thursday morning I had just opened the store and was making some copies for a regular customer when a lady (and I use the term very loosely here) came in. I said hello and informed her that I would be with her just as soon as I finished loading the copier with paper. Before I could even finish the sentence, she asked how much a copy was on colored paper. I told her 13 cents. She scoffed and mumbled something under her breath. Then asked how much it would be if she made the copy herself. I told her 12 cents.

She stepped back from the counter, turned away from me and stated that "God would get me for overcharging her."

I was stunned.

I said "Excuse me? What did you say, ma'am?"

She mumbled something incoherent and walked away from the counter.

Those of you who know me know that there was no way I was going to leave this one alone. I followed her to the other side of the store and asked her again what she had said.

She stated that she had never been charged so much before, to which I responded that our prices hadn't changed in five years and that if she was unhappy with our prices she should leave, because I wasn't going to be insulted or threatened over 13 cents.

She sputtered and took the lid off of her cup of water from Starbucks. She proceeded to make rapid, jerky body movements with the cup, sloshing water all over the carpet.

I informed her again that she need to leave the store, at which point she drew the cup back and I took a step toward her and said:

"If you are thinking about throwing that water at me, I suggest you think again...on your way out the door."

At which point she left.

The problems I have with this situation are many:

First:
If she had enough money to go to Starbucks, Why was she raising such a stink over a measly 12 or 13 cents. It is highly unlikely that she would find a cheaper price around here.

Second:
We deal with a lot of crazies on Southside. Apparently when Alabama decided to shut down all their mental hospitals they gave all the inmates (oops, patients) bus tickets to Birmingham. and they have all taken up residence on the streets of Southside. Between that and the influx of crazies after Katrina hit New Orleans, the population percentage of mental defectives jumped through the roof.

Third:
On the off chance that this woman wasn't the average local mental midget, my third concern is simply

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO CIVILITY?

I loathe and despise most people just because that's who I am. But even I have mastered the ability to never let them sense that (or if they do sense it, they're too gutless to mention it to me). I treat every person who walks in the store as if their requirements are the most important thing to me. It's called doing the job.

Now I admit I sometimes get frustrated and react badly to situations, but those instances are fairly rare. I never set out to make someones life miserable unless they truly deserve it. I just don't care enough about them as the human flotsam they are to waste my time making their day difficult. Plus, and this is the most important thing, if you fulfill their requirements quickly and efficiently, they give you money and go the hell away.

OK. I'm starting to get wound up, so I'm going to call this the end of rant number1.

Remember people: be nice or be gone!

The Church - untitled #23

The Church are one of the most consistent bands that don't suck in music today.

Since the early 80's they have been turning out album after album of melodic, subdued pop. In my opinion nothing they have done since has matched the glory of what my best friend and I call "the trilogy" of albums: Starfish, Gold Afternoon Fix, and Priest=Aura. Yet they continue to make the world a fuzzier place with their distinctive droning guitars and ethereal lyrics.

The voices of Steve Kilbey, Marty Willson-Piper, and, in a rare vocal performance, Peter Koppes continue to be as haunting and beautiful as ever. The songs are as well written as they always have been but there is something to the album that has been lacking in their new material lately. I can't put my finger on it. There is a feeling of nostalgia, but without the sadness.

You could say that this is more of the same old stuff since the Church has followed the same formula for more than a quarter of a century. You would, however, be wrong. These songs pack more of a punch than anything released since the trilogy I mentioned earlier.

This is the perfect follow-up album to the acoustic greatest hits collections: El Momento Descuidado and El Momento Siguiente. They reintroduced the wonderful old songs with a new twist and set the stage for what I hope will be a new trio of albums full of original material. (Although the more pessimistic side of me figures this will probably be the third album finishing what began with El Momento Descuidado).

Recommended tracks:

Pangaea
This song would have fit well on Gold Afternoon Fix or Priest=Aura. The inclusion of a cello makes it stand out from the material on those albums though. It's a tasty little ethereal nugget.

Deadman's Hand
This song would have fit well on Starfish. The song brushes up against 'Under the Milky Way' a few times, but manages to stand on its own as a great tune.

Sunken Sun
Simply awesome! With layered guitars and lyrics evoking both the mythic and the mystic, 'Sunken Sun' earns its place in the pantheon of incredible Church songs. This should be a single.

Lunar, Operetta, and Cobalt Blue are also outstanding songs. There is very little on this album that isn't worthy of at least one more listen. I recommend it highly for old fans and for new fans it needs to be the 6th album you get.

The Electric Church by Jeff Somers

You know you're reading a good book when you think to yourself "Damn! This would make a great book!" I had that feeling a couple of times while reading The Electric Church by Jeff Somers.

Somers tells the tale of a post-apocalyptic caper that takes his characters from the depths of the gutter to the upper echelons of power. It's a wild ride with lots of action and I'm sure it would make a fantastic summer blockbuster action flick. I imagined Edward Norton as the main character, Avery Cates, and maybe that kid fromThe New Kid as his sidekick Kev Gatz.

This book really has it all: cybernetic monks, sadistic police, and a crumbling social order controlled by bureaucratic fatcats.

Highly recommended for fans of Richard Morgan and anybody else who likes a good post-apocalytpic tale of the underdog.

Stay tuned for a review of the sequel: The Digital Plague

Coming Soon

In heavy rotation right now, working up to a review:

The Dead Weather - Horehound

The Church - Untitled #23

Chris Cornell's Scream

Let me start off by saying I am definitely a Soundgarden fan. I've been a fan since I first saw the movie Pump Up The Volume. Badmotorfinger was one of the brightest spots in the mediocre decade that was the 1990s. And Soundgarden will always be one of my two favorite Seattle bands (the other being - don't laugh - Queensryche). Chris Cornell's time with Audioslave was enjoyable as well.

Cornell's solo efforts are a very mixed bag. Euphoria Morning was a drastic departure from the Soundgarden sound and demonstrated his versatility and his ability as a songwriter. Carry On was Cornell reconnecting to his roots as a rock volcalist and gave us a poignant and powerful version of Michael Jackson's Billie Jean.

Scream is... well... a dance album. It sounds like a dance pop remake of a second rate 70s R&B album. This is the worst album I have listened to of my own free will in a long time. The album is called Scream and Cornell is known for his voice, however, there is not a single heart-wrenching scream on this album. Nor are there any of the vocal pyrotechnics that Chris Cornell is known for.

I am not familiar with Timbaland, who produced this album, but I know now that I will never be a fan of his. The production quality is awful. Cornell's brilliant, crisp voice is strangled and mutilated electronically. The music itself is second rate funk/dance pop. Allmusic described this album as 'more of a car crash than a collaboration.' I would have to disgree with that description, because even in a car crash there are screams of either humans or rending metal. This album is screamless, cheerless, and, sadly, not worth the price of purchase.

Better luck next time Chris.

Recommendations:
Buy a different album.

Rancid - Let The Dominoes Fall

Rancid – Let the Dominoes Fall
Once upon a time there was a band who considered themselves “the only band that matters,” and for nearly a decade that statement was true. The Clash put out one magnificent album after another, pushing the corporation defined boundaries of both punk and pop until they smashed them together with their magnum opus: Combat Rock. And as always seems to happen in the music world, creative differences and personality clashes tore the band apart. And as also always seems to happen, younger bands picked up the fallen standard and continued marching on.
During the Nineties, two bands emerged that owed a tremendous debt to The Clash: Green Day and Rancid. Green Day took the Clash formula and mixed in New York Punk. Rancid mixed that same formula with West Coast Punk. Green Day eventually found their own creative voice separate from the Clash influence and emerged as a cultural force of their own. Rancid, however, has remained true to the faith.
On Let the Dominoes Fall Tim Armstrong’s voice is ragged and gutsy as he swaggers through punk gems like ‘East Bay Night,’ ‘Up To No Good,’ ‘Liberty and Freedom,’ and the title track. Armstrong’s voice has matured over the years since Let’s Go and …And Out Come the Wolves garnered Rancid nationwide attention. The vocal duties are shared among the band, but Armstrong’s voice dominates as expected.
M y first thought after hearing Let the Dominoes Fall for the first time was “Wow, they’ve been listening to some Social Distortion in their downtime.” A little research showed that not only have they been listening to Social Distortion, Matt Freeman has been playing with Social Distortion for the last few years. Freeman’s guitar work on this album definitely shows the influence of the time he has spent in Social Distortion.
Recommended tracks:
‘East Bay Nights’ - Pure ska-punk revivalism. This opening track is definitely an attention-getter.
‘Up To No Good’ - Just a fun little tune.
‘Dominoes Fall’ - This song is a tasty little nugget that gets the blood pumping.
‘Liberty and Freedom’- A wonderfully subversive anthem critiquing government and the media. This is what punk should be: catchy and political.
Let the Dominoes Fall combines the gutter guitar of Social Distortion, the punk lyricism and attitude of the Clash, and the ska flavor of any number of late 70s/early 80s UK bands like the Specials, The Selecter, and The Untouchables to provide a final product that feels like pure ska-punk from an earlier era. While this album is no world-shaker, it is fun.

Birmingham, AL
June 2009

Depeche Mode - Sounds of The Universe

Over the past year four great eighties bands: The Cure, U2, Bauhaus and Depeche Mode have released new albums. The Bauhaus album was good if you were already a Bauhaus fan, but wasn’t that accessible to new listeners. The Cure album was good, but not up to par with their other albums. I refuse to even discuss the disappointment I experienced with the new U2 album. Not to worry fans, Depeche Mode’s new effort, Sounds of the Universe surpasses them all.
It seems that every new album by Depeche Mode is hailed as the best album since the listener’s favorite. Eighties kids usually claim Some Great Reward, Black Celebration or Music for the Masses. Nineties kids prefer Violator. I imagine the kids of this decade consider Playing the Angel their album, and I agree that it was pretty spectacular. And in that spirit I hail Sounds of the Universe as the best Depeche Mode album… since the last one.
Sounds of the Universe is a dark album. Depeche Mode has always had a certain spooky factor that is difficult to explain. It’s the feeling of a church after midnight. It’s big, empty, and haunted. Depeche Mode are the guys who broke in to play with the pipe organ. They fill the space with haunting vocals and disturbing music. For all its eeriness, however, Sounds of the Universe is a lush and gorgeous album.
Recommended Tracks:
‘In Chains,’ the opening track, is classic nineties DM. The music is sparse and spacey; the lyrics haunting. It has the appropriate feel for the opening track of an album called Sounds of the Universe.
‘Wrong’ is pure DM cheese. This song feels like an excerpt from Some Great Reward. It has all the bombast and electronic thuggery of their early albums. I love it!
‘Little Soul’ is DM at their creepiest. The music is cinematic, dissonant, and tense. The vocals are as plaintive and ethereal as Dave Gahan can get.
‘Come Back’ feels as if it is part romantic paean, part ominous threat. This ambivalence is displayed in the contrast between Gahan’s voice and the samples that cascade in the background.
Martin Gore’s lyrics and Dave Gahan’s delivery have achieved a maturity that one would expect with over twenty years as a band under their belts. Sounds of the Universe is a psychological thriller of an album: tense, suspenseful, a bit playful but mostly just very satisfying.
Sounds of the Universe may not have the cultural impact that Some Great Reward or Violator had. Or even the impact that Playing the Angel should have had. But it is a good, solid Depeche Mode album and whether you are an old fan or a newcomer to Depeche Mode, this album will not disappoint.

Birmingham AL
May 2009

Mission Statement

So, my goal here is to put forth my opinions on music, movies, books and society in general from my uniquely grumpy, curmudgeonly, and misanthropic perspective. If it helps you find something you might like, wonderful! If you disagree with my analysis, that's your prerogative.

All opinions presented in this blog are mine (unless stated otherwise).

And with all of that out of the way, let's have some fun.