Friday, June 13, 2014

A socially relevant post (possibly)

It has been a long time since I posted anything here but today I feel inspired. I have spent the morning reading about school shootings and domestic terrorism. I am about to mix the personal and the political.

I was a loner and an outsider for most of my school days due to the fact that my parents moved a lot and I was always the new kid (not to mention my innate pudginess). I listened to Heavy Metal and Punk. I was fascinated with fantasy and military themed books. I had access to guns and used them regularly. I always carried a pocketknife with me. I dressed in black t-shirts and blue jeans. I read Nietzsche. My favorite movie was Apocalypse Now. I went on exactly two dates during high school. I made pipe bombs and blew up debris on the farm with them. I read The Anarchist's Cookbook cover to cover a couple times. I wrote a 16 page story for my creative writing class about a school shooting.

The list I just wrote would mark me as 'trenchcoat mafia' in the modern media. All of those facts could be pointed to as causes for my flipping out and killing people. But I never did. Why?

Because I am not batshit crazy and I had parents that cared.

The problem isn't violent video games or movies. It isn't bullying. It isn't any source external to the home. A big part of it has to be horrible parenting.

My dad taught me how to handle weapons safely. He showed me how to make the pipe bombs I used on the farm. He was an Army sergeant and ran the house like one. There were rules and you followed them or faced the belt. He was never physically abusive. He didn't enjoy punishing me when I screwed up, but he didn't flinch from it or make excuses either. I knew the rules and I followed them. He instilled a sense of right and wrong in me by being part of my life.

My mother was a guiding influence as well. She was the yin to my father's yang. She provided the balance to his gruff military style. And yes, she spanked me too. But she was also there for me when I need her. As a parent should be.

I was not driven to excel by my parents. They expected me to do well and, honestly, I did just enough to keep them happy. I also enjoyed learning as much as I could for my own benefit. So it benefited me and them. I got A's and B's and I studied what I wanted in addition to what was assigned. A love of books was instilled in me at an early age and I have never stopped reading. This also helped me define right and wrong.

So many kids today are born to be social accessories or to provide validation for the parent's existence. Kids are pressured to do things in which they have no interest just so the parent can say "look what my kid did." The parents live their school days over vicariously through their offspring. 

This is no reason to have a child. 

Children should be loved and nurtured to be the best person they can be. But they have to find their own way. A parent is there to instill basic values and guide and support them as they make their way in the world. This is not a teacher's job. IT IS THE PARENT'S RESPONSIBILITY!

I will not discount the influence of the media and the culture of pimps and whores, gangsters and vigilantes, and corrupt religious and secular officials that the media promotes. Nor will I discount the fact that our schools have declined in both educational values and critical thinking skills. But it all begins at home with the people that spawned them in the first place.

End of soapbox rant. Discuss :)